A Whole New Point of View on Volpone

4 Pages 969 Words

A Whole New Point of View

The lights dim, the audience goes silent, spotlight up, out steps the producer to introduce his play, Coca-Cola’s Craig Kevorkian Presents Volpone. The curtains open up to a completely unfamiliar setting. I, Craig Kevorkian, the Producer, have made a few minor adaptations to the play in order that it might hold the interest of the audience; you see, Jonson’s version was just too boring. The year is 2642 AD; the place is the futuristic city of Venice situated on a space platform orbiting high above the planet of Italy.
The characters all have their own little quirks with names to match. Volponex is the man-cyborg as clever as a fox. Moscax is a robot who feeds off of the same energy source as Volponex but assists him in all things. Nanox is a genetically engineered midget alien. Ballsy is a eunuch whose testicles were removed as punishment for his poor rhyming scheme. Pat is an um…. uh…. well…. it’s Pat; there’s not much to say about umm him? Her? Voltorex is a lawyer whose pocketbook is too thick for his own good. Corbacciox X is an older model cyborg and mentor to the newer cyborg Bonariox 3000. Corvinox is a space merchant from the planet Ghoti; and of course there is President and First Beyatch Politicex Oughtn’tex-Beex, visiting from the planet England.
As the curtains open upon the play the great cyborg, Volponex, stands in his docking station and beckons his little rolly robot helper (you know the kind, the small kind of pyramidy thing with wheels on the bottom and arms that extend from inside to sweep things up, pull back curtains, pull out chairs and the like, not particularly elegant, but functional. It has a big face painted on the front, with a smiley face.), commands him to display a holographic image showing his stock quotes, savings, and checking accounts. Feeling disatisified with a mere 996 billion denarri credits, he decides to go on a hunt for more money. He a...