Embarassing Moment

5 Pages 1229 Words

After I found out that my husband may have prostate cancer I researched, read

and learned everything I could about this disease. Then I informed my husband of my

findings, because for some reason, but not unlike other men, he could not do it himself.

He was very willing to read any pages I marked in a book, or downloaded offline.

With the biopsy and diagnosis I cried alone in the dark or in the shower so he

wouldn't hear. I acted upbeat and positive whenever he was around. I understood the

power of positive thinking, and did not want him to succumb to any negative thoughts.

He never cried a tear in front of me, and always acted like he was there to comfort and

support me through this time. We both at least acted like we were the strong one. I knew

inside he was the stronger one. He always seemed to have a positive attitude. To this day,

I don't know exactly what he was feeling during that time.

With the CAT scan and bone scan, I fought hard not to be sick. I was present in

the room during the bone scan and I watched on the monitor. As he lay there with the

machine inching it's way over him, he looked so vulnerable for the first time. I had never

seen him sick, or even in pain. It was a reality check for me at that moment. Everything

came crashing in. I strained to see what they might be looking for. Could I see anything?

What was I even looking for. I didn't know, but I tried anyway. I could see a large glow

around the pelvic area. My stomach did a flip flop...I felt myself getting tense. I could

hardly stand one more minute of looking at his skeletal structure as the pictures came up

on the screen. The tech told him to empty his bladder because the glow was the nuclear

material in the bladder. By that moment, I had to leave. I thought I was going to vomit. I

put some water on my face, and when I came out of the ladies room, he was there waiting

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