The Institute Of Marriage

10 Pages 2411 Words

for the adults involved. Married people are healthier, happier, more successful and more productive. There is also unequivocal evidence that children fare better in marriages than in other forms of relationships." And finally, there are the obvious yet unknown collective costs we pay for the un-institutionalization of marriage: lower earnings, higher rates of poverty, higher rates of welfare receipt, Medicaid, public assistance, hospital admissions, suicide, chronic and acute illnesses, accidents and lower productivity. "If we were able to estimate the macro-economic costs of divorce, unmarried childbearing and lower marriage rates, we would surely discover that we pay an enormous price for the retreat from marriage." Consumer culture.
So, why is this retreat occurring? William H. Doherty, professor and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota, sees it as a reflection of the pervasive "consumer culture" of our society. "Consumer culture has always been based on individuals pursuing their personal wants and desires. But in the late 20th century, consumer advertisers began to emphasize desire for desire's sake: Just do it! Obey your thirst! Your kids always get what they want; now it's your turn! Consumer culture has always been one of self-gratification, but the entitlement dimension is more prominent now," he says. And that has carried over into the institution of marriage. The marriage vows that are becoming popular around the country these days are a promise " to be together as long as we both shall love.' Can you imagine a more fragile basis for a lifelong commitment?" Listen to contemporary humor about marriage, he says, and you hear things like: When choosing a husband, ask yourself if this is the man you want your children to visit every other weekend. Or, from a recent movie, men should be like toilet paper: soft, strong and disposable. If you go in with these ideas, what can you expec...