Gender Reflection Paper On Friends

1 Pages 360 Words

GRP #3 - Friendship

I was raised to be a girly girl. I didn’t climb trees, I didn’t fight boys, I never learned to ride a bicycle because I got driven everywhere I wanted to go. Frankly, I was basically scared of boys through about eighth grade. I was afraid of the smallest iota of a possibility of rejection. This meant that most of the energy that would have gone towards actually pursing the boys I had crushes on was spent on psychoanalyzing my friends.
Between the ages of 5 and thirteen I probably had a total of 2 male friends outside of my church. However, despite this severe lack of cross gender relationships I had my first “boyfriend” at seven years old! Strangely, this new development was encouraged by my teachers, while the idea of having a boy as friend would classify me as a tomboy or de-sex him as a male. Because of these complications I never felt very compelled to engage in a friendship with a male.
However, in High school my life began to make a change, my friends (whom I had not seen since elementary school) had progressed to cross-gendered relationships – opening my eyes to a whole other spectrum of friendship possibilities. I suddenly realized that I actually had more in common with the opposite sex that I believed. In fact over the years I have found that guys have replaced some of my closest girlfriends.
As I reflect on the effect of my social network on my friendships I have mixed emotions – although I appreciate the distinct femininity that has been instilled in me I wish that I had had the experience of growing up with more male friends. I would like to believe I might not have been so emotionally stunted when it came to boys. Although I see the disadvantages of my upbringing the likelihood is that I won’t stray far from it. And will sadly, pass this setback to my children until one of us gains the audacity to end the emotionally destructive circle....