Case Study In Relationships

3 Pages 730 Words

I have chosen to do this case study on the de-escalation of the relationship between two friends of mine, Becky and Nathan* (*names have been changed to protect the innocent). They were together for three years, but after about a year and a half, I realized that the relationship was slowly falling apart.

Becky and Nathan got together during Becky’s senior year of high school. At first things seemed great, they got along well, and seemed to be very much in love. But, things were slowly unraveling. When Nathan was arrested for possession of marijuana, he claimed it wasn’t his, it was his friend’s and he just happened to be sitting in the wrong car seat. At the time, we all believed him, because Nathan didn’t seem like a “typical pot-head.” About six months after this incident, Becky not only found out that Nathan was lying about the pot not being his, but he was also a “pot-head.”

Becky decided to trust Nathan when he told her that he was going to quit, and stuck out the relationship. After another six months or so, Becky discovered that Nathan had not only not stopped smoking, but he had left her on her birthday to get high. Becky realized that she had to do something, so she gave him an ultimatum, her or the drugs. Of course he told her he would quit for her, but we all had our doubts. Eventually, we found out we were correct, and Becky did what she knew she had to do.

Becky and Nathan clearly went through the four stages of disengagement. During the first phase, the intrapsychic phase, the person “focuses on the other’s behavior, assesses the adequacy of their partner’s role, and faces the dilemma of expressing or repressing feelings”. Becky started this phase shortly after Nathan left her on her birthday to (as we later found out) get high. She began talking to me about contemplating ending the relationship, and asked for my advice.

The next phase was the dyadic phase, in which the person faces...