Role Of Compromise In Family Relations

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obfoll and Walfisch, 1984). Social support is negatively related to the incidence of psychiatric symptoms, and absence of social support is a better predictor of disorders than is incidence of stressful events (Lin et al., 1979; Silberfeld. Those persons who have a high quality of family relationships tend to report fewer general psychiatric symptoms (Dean et al., 1981) and also fewer neurotic symptoms, such as depression and anxiety (Barrera, 1981).
Every relationship is a series of compromises. These compromises may be preceded by fear or anger, and even by threats. Marriage and family life are no exception.
Fear and anger are emotions. Threats may or may not be preceded by emotions. Often they are. Emotions may sometimes get you what you want in your relationship. Often they do not. Probably the best way to get what you want from your spouse or family is by compromise and negotiation. An important part of negotiation, however, is being able to maintain control of your emotions. Like the words of an anonymous author:
A wise, old owl sat on an oak.
The more he saw, the less he spoke.
The less he spoke, the more he heard.
Why can’t we all be like that bird?
Real listening and thus being able to compromise is one of the highest forms of human influence. It is a learned art, and requires an inner sensitivity that goes beyond understanding words alone to the feelings and real meanings of what is said. By truly listening, we are saying to our loved ones: "You are a person of worth; I love you, respect you and want to understand you."
Unfortunately, we are often so eager to get our point across we don't pay enough attention to what is being said, or we interrupt the speaker with our own words. Nevertheless Arguments between couples are an important aspect of interpersonal relationships. They allow the airing of divergent views so that a compromise...