The Problem Child

3 Pages 721 Words

Positive Expectations are statements that parents make to their child about what is appropriate behavior. The goal of this tool to is to teach children what parents want, not what they don't want. For example, telling children that dirty clothes belong in the laundry basket is more effective than telling children to stop leaving their clothes on the floor. Telling a child that feet belong on the floor is easier for a child to understand than telling them to take their feet off the table. State what you want, not what you don't want. This tool increases cooperation and ensures that parents are communicating in a way that children can understand.
Coping with a problem child can be very difficult for the parent. In order for the child to overcome his misbehavior, I have come up with a two-week plan to insure that he or she will learn and adapt to their new environment. When you notice rebelliousness, first give a reminder about what they are doing wrong. Remember to make direct eye contact. This simple strategy will work most of the time. Begin to think of an effective consequence if the reminder doesn't work. An effective consequence is 1) clear and specific; 2) logically related to the misbehavior; 3) time-limited; 4) varied. Continued misbehavior requires a warning of the consequence or even an effective punishment. The punishment should not be aggressive or threatening. It should be thoroughly explained for why the punishment is being given.
When speaking with the child about their inappropriate behavior, move closer to the child than normal conversational distance and make direct and prolonged eye contact. Be very specific about your expectation and the time frame for compliance. Tell him exactly what the consequence of noncompliance will be. Walk away and give him the opportunity to comply. If the warning doesn't work, send the child to his room while you both cool off. Ignore arguing, whining or expressions of anger. After a...