Carl Rogers

9 Pages 2305 Words

Gudoo! Don’t you have any manners? You are eating like an animal!” slap!
“Look at the time!” slap! “Is it the time to play?” “If you don’t study you will become one of the street beggars!”
“How many times have I told you not to run around the house? Now I won’t let you out of your room for two hours!”

How many times have the parents around the world used these kinds of statements and spankings to “train” their children? To teach them “manners”
And the results of such kind of “training”….is a mystery to them.

In the above example “Gudoo” has a self concept that he is a good, energetic child, who wants to become a famous cricketer. But due to his parents’ over guidance and lack of approval in the type of profession and things he’d like to choose, the child will have to revise his self-image and values somehow. He may decide that he is a bad boy for not wanting what his parents want; he may decide that his parents do not like him; or he may decide that he is ill mannered, he shouldn’t be so energetic, and that he is not interested in cricket after all.

Effects of Compulsion

Any of the forgoing choices will distort the child’s reality, for he is not bad, and his parents do like him, he is energetic, and he does want to become a cricketer.
If he continues to do this sort of thing as his values are undervaluing and disapproving by others his self will end up divided against itself .He will feel as if he does not really know what he is and what he wants and he will be tense, uncomfortable, and out of sorts.

For example, if a parent insists that a child behave like a “nice little boy” in order to receive love and affection, the child will begin to value experience in terms of the parental image of “niceness” rather than in terms of his own individual reaction to them. Instead of being free to discover how it would feel to say a “naughty” word, put a cockroach in ...