Broken: When Parents Split

15 Pages 3707 Words

It is 10:30PM on Sunday November 30, 2002 and Tom is driving his nineteen-year-old daughter Amy to Penn Station. She must return home tonight to her mother in Marlboro, New Jersey—his formerly stable residence. There is a tension permeated with sadness in the New York City air and both Tom and Amy are awaiting a painful moment. Tom initiates, “I’m sorry that this has been so hard on you.” Amy’s anticipated tears begin to pour, “Daddy, don’t worry, I just miss you being home with me.” Tom tries to fight his own tears, but loses in his attempt, “I’m sorry baby; I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry I haven’t gone to New Jersey to be with you. I’m sorry you’re so depressed. I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle.” Amy is now in hysterics, struggling to breath and speak simultaneously, “Daddy, I love you so much and I have always taken for granted the fact that you’ve been around and now you’re gone and it’s so hard without you. This is the first Thanksgiving we haven’t spent together in my entire life and I just, I just…really miss you.” Tom tries to catch his breath, “But sweetie, I’m here; I’ll always be here; I’m never going to leave you. You and your sister are the most important things in my life and I need you to know that. Tell me you know that…”

Divorce, depression, distress: how can I overcome these barriers and develop into a normal human being? What is it about family dynamics that plays such a pivotal role in not only the development of the child, but also the development of the parental function? How and why can indirect influences, such as marital struggles, drastically manifest themselves in the development of children? Is it more beneficial for children to live in a conflict-ridden home or suffer the damage from divorce? Can divorce be the primary cause for the downfall of a child’s mental health? Can depression in a spouse be the source of marital discord or...