In The Park

8 Pages 2005 Words

In the Park

Isn’t it funny how life turns out? I had dreams once. Fantasies of youth I suppose. You know success, love, career, happiness, etcetera, etcetera. I was so sure of how things were going to turn out. I was going to finish school, get a degree, and marry a wonderful man who would give me two beautiful children. And I would be happy, so very happy. I had such faith in my dreams; they were as real to me as the sun rising in the morning and the turning of the tides.

But now all the idealistic fantasies of my youth are gone and reality has reared its ugly head. I am twenty- eight years old, a single mother with three children. I work two jobs to maintain my little family, and yet I am still struggling to make ends meet.

At high school I had been a good student. Never straight A’s mind you, but I was doing well. I was going to be a lawyer, really make something of myself. I was going to travel before university, and settle down with my wonderful boyfriend. Then one moments stupidity and my entire world unalterably changed. I fell pregnant. I felt so ashamed, I didn’t tell a soul. I dropped out of school halfway through my senior year and broke it off with my boyfriend.

And there went my dreams. After that things went from bad to worse. I went from one dead end job to another and had a string of broken and meaningless relationships that resulted in my child gaining two younger siblings.

So here I am sitting in the park. Two children are tugging on my out of date clothing, crying for things I do not have the means to provide, while the other sits playing in the dirt, wishing he had the toys other kids take for granted. And all I can wonder is what happened to my life. How did I lose control? Maybe the ability to control what we become as people is out of our hands, that outside influences shape the person we become.

And as I sit here pondering destiny and other absurdities, I watch happy people stroll by, i...