High

1 Pages 168 Words

I could tell she knew-
By the way she looked at me,
Peered at me, tugging at something
Only I was supposed to know-
How dare her-
I turn in circles trying to make sense
Of things-
But I’m angry cause she saw me and
She wasn’t supposed to know-
But it was my fault-
It was my fault because I pranced
All out there knowing she could’ve
Seen but not caring, being too high
Too out of control to care-
And then, after that-
Trying to take back those moments-
Trying to rearrange and wondering why-
It’ s not fair but that’s the way it is-
‘cause even as a I think it-
even as I write it-
I’ll still feel-
Still feel angry-
Hating that she knows,
Hating that she sees me-
Still feel hate-
Hating myself,
Hating this world,
You in my fucking face-
Hating god and church and
All the fucking hypocrites,
Hating the devil…my uncle…
Every man in this world-
Hating the school system and
My teachers and every fucking
Peer-
Hating acting…waking up and being
Forced into caring-
Hating me hating the world hating me
Hating the world
Hating
Hating feeling this way
Just hating.
And then…
After all that,
We still wonder why-...