The Five Love Languages

11 Pages 2637 Words

managed to verbalize that Brent had told her that he no longer loved her and that he was leaving. She was devastated.
When she regained her composure she said, "We have both worked so hard the last two or three years. I knew that we were not spending as much time together as we used to, but I thought we were working for a common goal. I cannot believe what he is saying. He has always been such a kind and caring person. He is such a good father to our children. " She continued, "How could he do this to us?"
I listened as she described their twelve years of marriage. It was a story I had heard many times before. They had an exciting courtship, got married at the height of the "in love experience," had the typical adjustments in the early days of marriage, and pursued the American dream. In due time, they came down off the emotional high of the "in love experience" but did not learn to speak each other's love language sufficiently. She had lived with a love tank only half full for the last several years. But she had received enough expressions of love to make her think that everything was OK. However, his love tank was empty.
I told Becky that I would see if Brent would talk with me. I told Brent on the phone, "As you know, Becky came to see me and told me about her struggle with what is happening in the marriage. I want to help her, but in order to do so, I need to know what you are thinking."
He agreed without hesitation, and now he sat in my office. His outward appearance was in stark contrast to Becky's. She had been weeping uncontrollably, but he was stoic. I had the impression, however, that his weeping had taken place weeks or perhaps months ago and that it had been an inward weeping. The story Brent told confirmed my hunch.
"I just don't love her anymore," he said. "I haven't loved her for a long time. I don't want to hurt her, but we are not close. Our relationship has become empty. I don't enjoy being with her anymore. I don...