Satire

10 Pages 2576 Words

ut Daylight Savings Time. It's seven o'clock. You must have forgotten to se!
t your clock an hour ahead," her brother said snootily. He was secretly (rather, not so secretly) relishing this moment. "What?!" Dana cried. She began to seriously doubt that she had a brain floating somewhere in that dark abyss known as her skull. "What?!" she repeated, this time more pathetically. "That's right. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to continue with my shower, as I've had enough of this stupid conversation! If I wanted to talk to idiots, I wouldn't have dropped out of college."
Dana, who felt that this was all in some way her brother's fault, was ready to kill him. But she decided against it. She would get him when he least expected it. Perhaps some applesauce under his blanket, or mayonnaise in his shampoo… A few minutes passed, while Dana leaned against the wall and contemplated the many ways in which she would repay her brother for being such a little brat. She forgot it all, however, when he came waltzing out of the bathroom. She stuck her foot out, and down he went. Before he could get up and murder her, she ran into the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and locked it. She sat by the door for several minutes, while her brother pounded and screamed and made idle threats. He finally left, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She had to take a deep breath first, though, because she had been holding her breath the entire time, hoping that her brother wouldn't punch his fist through the door and begin choking her, like she had seen in a movie rece!
ntly. She heard him enter her room. She had a feeling he was going to take some of her magazines. A bunch of them had "mysteriously disappeared" over the past few weeks, and although her brother claimed he knew nothing about them, she still thought that he had something to do with it. She stepped into the shower, only to be hit by a stream of freezing cold water. "Figures," she thought, "He ...